I dont really feel like writing. Ive had no motivation lately but I really think I need to mention Alex today. Today is 2 years since he died. It almost doesnt feel real. I know why it gets harder with each passing day. Its because with time people forget that you once had a child that died. When it happens you have loads of support from your family, friends and even strangers. As each year passes people forget that you once had a baby. They forget that you still need the support. People think you get ‘over it’. They’re wrong. Today is just another day to everyone else. To me its the anniversary of the day that my world collapsed. Sorry to sound so negative. Despite my negativity I have actually been pretty good today. I appreciate what I have, which is that gorgeous little boy sleeping soundly in his cot right now but I still have moments when I reflect on what I ‘could’ have had and that is 2 gorgeous little boys sleeping soundly in their cots.
The last couple of weeks since my last post have been long and tiring. Dylan has been battling a skin infection for about 3 weeks now (which by the way looks nothing like school sores so it has us baffled as to what is causing it) then last week he developed a fever that lasted 2 days until we were told he had a chest infection and after starting yet another course of antibiotics he is now doing much better. His skin on his face still looks horrible because he claws at it because it obviously itches him and he now has little scabs everywhere. I think in a space of two weeks we went to the doctors 5 times and saw 4 different doctors. I’m so over it! It feels as if Dylan cant catch a break. It feels like he has been sick almost every week since he has been born.
Its just past midnight so I can go to bed now knowing that another ‘anniversary’ is over.
Hi Jenny,
Sorry I’m a few days late, but I wanted to tell you that Alex will never, ever be forgotten. I think about you all of the time, and I’m glad you still write, even if less frequently, as I do myself. I know how hard this day must have been for you, and I want to give you a big hug. I hope today is a better day. Give Dylan a big hug, and smile when you remember your precious Alex.
Love Lauren