Hard few days.. January 29, 2008

I have been suffering from really bad headaches the last few days so I havent felt like sitting at the computer.  I am not sure if its related to the fact that I am still weaning the breastfeeding down.  Today we are down to one ‘before bed’ feed only but I am incredibly uncomfortable.  Dylan doesnt seem to miss the breastfeeding much which is good because it would just make this whole process harder.     

Dylan is in childcare right now.  I dropped him off at 8.30am this morning and will pick him up at 1.00pm and here I am blogging while my son sits at a childcare probably screaming and crying.  I feel soooo guilty! When I dropped him off this morning half the kids were crying on the floor and had snotty noses.  It was hard to leave him knowing that I was only going to be at home today and I wasnt sending him there out of necessity because I had to go and work.  Mum came with me and it was the first time she had come into the centre (despite the fact that it is only across the road from home) so when we left she was crying.  She found it hard to leave him too.  I went to get a blood test afterwards (one that I was supposed to get 3 months ago to check on my thyroid levels and never got around to) and then we went to grab some breakfast before coming home. 

JP started work again today which I am sad about.  He has been such a great help looking after Dylan and I cant say that it has been easy the last few days.  We have had a bad few days and I havent been coping all that well.  I’ve had moments where Ive just had to go lie down alone in my room out of sheer exhaustion and because I’d had enough of listening to Dylan whine all day.  Its been good that JP has been able to give me the break so I dont know what I’m going to do now that he is going back to work.  Dylan had a much better day yesterday so hopefully we were just going through a rough patch. 

At child care last week we left Dylan there for an hour on his own but stayed in the building in case he wouldnt settle.  It was part of his orientation and trying to slowly introduce him to child care.  We were told we could go in and see him as often as we liked.  We gave him half an hour and then thought we would go check what he was doing.  He was happily playing on the floor with some other kids so we left again.  10 minutes later the carer came to call us because Dylan had started crying and they didnt want him to get too upset on his first day.  When we went to see him they had him in an art smock and were trying to get him to paste some feathers onto some paper.  He was crying so hard that an hour later even after we got him home he was still sobbing and hiccuping.  I felt so sorry for him and like such a mean mother.  I think half the problem was that all the other kids had been put to bed so only Dylan was still awake and on his own with the carers.  It didnt help that he was over-tired and needed a nap too.  He ‘officially’ starts today so I am hoping that he has a better day.  I am so worried and know that if he doesnt start to like it then I will probably pull him out completely.       

Priceless January 22, 2008

 

 

There is no turning back January 20, 2008

Its been a fairly busy week.  Dylan went to child care on Tuesday for the first time and although he loved it I’m still trying to erase the memory of the hour we spent there from my mind.  Of course Dylan loved it…why wouldnt he? He thought it was great having both his mummy and daddy playing with him on the floor AS WELL as all these new toys and kids to play with.  Lets see what he thinks of it next time when we leave him there on his own.  The carers really didn’t have much time to spend talking with us so we played with Dylan on the floor and just observed while they took care of the other 8 or so babies there. 

I have to say it was a real eye opener to see one person feed 5 babies at the same time. I have trouble feeding just one baby.  I was wondering how it was possible to sit 5 bowls in front of 5 babies in high chairs and expect them not to touch their bowls or tip food all over themselves.  Well, the short answer is; its not possible.  For a good minute all 5 babies behaved and didn’t touch their bowls and then the carer made the mistake of going to answer the phone.  That was a BIG mistake! Slowly..one by one each baby picked up their bowl of mashed veggies and tipped them on the floor or down their front.  There was food everywhere.  You should of seen the look of horror on my face from where I sat on the floor with Dylan in the corner of the room.  I think I’m going to have to hose Dylan down when he gets home from child care in future.  It must be the ‘clean freak’ in me but there is no way I would sit a bowl of food in front of Dylan when I feed him because the first thing he would do is tip it upside down and mess food everywhere.  The other thing that really bothered me is that there was another baby (who I might add was quite scary looking because he was the size of a small man and he kept grunting) was spitting up when Dylan was playing with him and the carers didn’t notice.  Dylan was trying the poke his fingers in the spit-up so lucky we were there to stop him.  This half baby-half man was also trying to hit some wooden toys over Dylan’s head.  I know I’m just going to have to get used to the fact that he will come home dirty, he will catch more colds and other illnesses and he won’t always get the attention he gets at home.  Yep..I’m just going to have to suck it up and live with it.  He is going to child care.  The decision has been made and there is no turning back now. 

On Wednesday we took Dylan swimming.  Ive never seen such a scared look on Dylan’s face except when he had his first bath. I’m hoping he starts loving the swimming as much as he does the bath now.  I will have to post some photos to show you all the expression on his face because it was just priceless.  We have booked him in for 8 weeks of swimming starting February.  I hope his heart can handle it!

Dylan has been an absolute nightmare today.  Last night he had a terrible night where he cried several times and I had to comfort him and put him back to sleep again at 5 in the morning. Today he whined non-stop.  He has also been fussy with his solids and milk feeds.  As I sit here typing I can hear him in his cot moaning in his sleep.  I’m not sure if his teeth are bothering him or if he has some pain somewhere.  I’m hoping he has a better day tomorrow. 

We still haven’t sold our car.  Our mechanic found nothing wrong with it except that we need to replace the windscreen because of a couple of stone chips which we are quite willing to do.  The buyer we had still believes his own mechanic that told him it had a few other things wrong so based on that he offered us $2000 less than what we were asking.  There is no way we are selling for such a small price so we may as well keep it for now. 

Dylan has reached some new milestones over the last few days.  He can stand on his own holding on to furniture and he can walk a few steps by himself if he leans and pushes his walking toys.  I cant say that he will be walking by his birthday but he might be pretty close. 

Okay..I’m off to bed now as its after midnight and I know its going to be another sleepless night if today is anything to go by. Goodnight!

Child care tomorrow! January 14, 2008

Dylan goes to child care tomorrow for the first time !  It will only be for an hour or two but it still feels as if I am sending my baby to school for the first time.  Surprisingly I’m feeling okay about it though.  Probably because I’m going to be staying with him.  I guess the real test is in a couple of weeks when I have to leave him there for the day.  The paediatrician says its good for him to go so I am going to try to remember his advice.  Dylan needs alot of stimulation and gets bored very easily.  I think he will enjoy being able to play with other kids but I’m afraid that he is going to be the bully in the group because when he plays with his cousin he snatches the toys out of his hands and pulls on his hair and clothes until he cries. Hopefully going to child care will teach him to be more sharing, patient and kind with other kids.

We also went to see a swim school today and want to start him in lessons soon but for now we have booked one class on Wednesday to see if he enjoys it.  We don’t want him to be a professional swimmer or force him in the water; we just want him to learn about water safety and don’t want him to be afraid of being in a swimming pool.  We went shopping today and bought him a Wiggles bag as well as bathers (swim suit for those that don’t know what bathers are) and a new towel so he is ready for child care tomorrow and swimming on Wednesday.  

I took some photos of him today in his new swim suit.

Playing in his new playpen….

 

and with his cousin…

 

Showing us that he can pull himself up on to furniture

On another completely different topic – it looks like we might have a buyer for our car! Yay!  It has been for sale since Dylan was born although we havent spent too much time advertising it and it has sat in my grandma’s driveway for about 6 months.  Finally we decided to park it in a visible location with a ‘for sale’ sign and we have had heaps of interest.  One guy wants to buy it for his daughter and last week took it to his mechanic.  Unfortunately his mechanic says a couple of things need fixing but the guy is still interested.  Tomorrow we are taking it to our mechanic for a second opinion because as far as we knew there was nothing wrong with it.  If our mechanic finds the same faults we may need to renegotiate the price.  We are hoping our mechanic doesnt find anything wrong.  Selling this car will mean some extra money and take away some of the stress of not having an income right now so fingers crossed that we sell it this week.

Paediatrician Appointment January 13, 2008

Ive been a little slow with the posts lately.  I did intend on posting every couple of days but it just hasn’t been happening.  I guess I need to make more of an effort to post even if they are short updates.

Dylan’s rash disappeared on its own so I guess it was probably due to the heat.  We went to the paediatrician earlier this week and Dylan was measured again.  He was 10.3kg (with a singlet and nappy) and I think 76cm in length therefore he is still 75th percentile for weight and 90th for height!  Can you believe it? We always thought he would be short because he always had short legs but he just seems to have grown so much lately.  In terms of development the paediatrician says he is probably a little behind but still well within the normal range.  By this he means that he should be crawling well by now and pulling himself up onto furniture.  In the last couple of days he has certainly improved with his crawling (he is still on his stomach crawling commando style but gets on his hands and knees occasionally) and is starting to pull himself upright on to his knees so I don’t think he is far away from pulling himself to a standing position.  We have started to hold his hands and walk with him around the house and although he is wobbly on his legs he is getting the gist of it.  He zooms around with the walker but we don’t want him to rely on that too much or he’ll never learn to walk on his own.    

We bought a playpen for him yesterday because we were finding it difficult sitting on the floor with him all the time and trying to stop him from getting into mischief when he crawled around.  He loves it because we can now fill it with all his toys and he can throw them around to his hearts content. He has recently developed this new habit of hurling his toys around the house.  It’s quite amusing to watch him pick up the heaviest of items and swing it a couple of times above his head and then throw it across the room. This includes remote controls, books, his water bottle and anything else he can get his hands on.  He is a strong little bugger! Its not so amusing when I trip over or have to pick up something he has thrown but now they are all within his playpen which is great.  

I was planning on posting some new photos but will have to do that next time as I’m exhausted.  JP summed it up perfectly today.  He said that Dylan zaps every ounce of energy from you so that by the end of the day you are utterly exhausted.  He is so energetic but we know how lucky we are to have him so we wouldn’t have it any other way! 

Another visit to the doctor January 4, 2008

Dylan has developed a rash.  It started yesterday but seems a little worse today so we took him to the doctor and she said that it was probably viral or due to heat.  It isn’t too bad so I wasn’t too worried yesterday because it was only on his chest but today it has spread to his back as well. It looks like little red dots and you need to almost look closely to see them as they aren’t very obvious. They don’t seem to bother him but he has been really grumpy today and has had a couple of screaming episodes.  You can tell when Dylan is in pain as he cries differently.  I believe his teeth and gums are bothering him as he is chewing everything like mad and drooling everywhere.  We gave him some panadol and that seemed to settle him but I just hope that this rash is gone tomorrow and that the cause of his pain is just his teeth and nothing more.   

We went to the child care centre today and paid an enrolment fee for Dylan.  We finally filled in all the forms but because we have delayed it so long they are all booked up on a Wednesday now so I have put him down for Mondays and Tuesdays and mum will look after him on a Wednesday.  We have an orientation day on the 15th and 22nd January and then he will be starting whole days on the 5th February.  I’m sad beyond belief but am not thinking about it.  I feel like a horrible mother but I know I have to go back to work and start earning money again.

Happy New Year January 1, 2008

Its been so hot this week.  The temperature has been in the high 30’s and even 40’s°C so I think Dylan is having a hard time adjusting to the heat and has slept more and is eating less than usual.  Thats what I am hoping anyway.  He doesnt seem sick apart from still having a slight cold.  He is certainly alert when he is awake so I’m not too worried.

We had a good New Years Eve/Day and I hope everyone else did as well.  We celebrated New Years Eve at a Chinese restaurant for dinner then we went back to my sisters just in time to watch the fireworks display from her balcony.  It was a really nice night despite the fact that the air conditioning was broken at the restaurant and it was incredibly hot inside.  Dylan was also really unsettled most of the night as well.  He was full of beans and his routine was totally out of whack as he slept most of the day so didnt sleep when we got to the restaurant and was awake when it hit midnight which I didnt mind too much as I was able to kiss and cuddle my little boy and wish him a ‘Happy New Year’.  Today we have been inside most of the day with the air conditioning on as the heat is unbearable outside. 

I am trying to wean Dylan at the moment from breastfeeding and am finding it really hard.  I want to swap his day time breastfeeds to bottle feeds for a couple of weeks and then gradually drop the other feeds as well so by March he will only be bottle fed. This doesnt sound difficult as he is only having three breastfeeds a day these days but he still doesnt drink all that much from the bottle.  Just skipping that one breastfeed today I have been extremely uncomfortable and sore.  I’m hoping my body will adjust quickly and that he starts drinking better from the bottle because that will be one less thing for me to stress about when I go back to work.