We had a great christmas. There is nothing better in life than watching the joy on your child’s face on his first Christmas. I never thought I could be happy again after Alex died and although I will never be the same person I was before, Dylan has helped fill a void in my life that I never thought possible. Sure, it really sucks that my firstborn child died and I will never get to see him grow into a young man but I shudder to think how my life could have been if we hadnt had any children at all. I’ve always wanted children but for some reason our journey has a been a difficult one. It has taken 5 years to have a (surviving) child and although my heart still and will always ache for Alex, I appreciate what I do have and am thankful. Christmas took on a new meaning for me this year.
We went to the cemetery Christmas morning to bring Alex some flowers and were able to have our first family photo. I was taking photos and another couple visiting their child asked whether we wanted them to take a photo of all of us and so we now have our very first family photo. I wish it were under different circumstances and that Alex would have been alive today but I guess I have to learn to appreciate what I do have in my life.
I was going to post the family photo but I look terrible so I will just post one of my two baby boys – Dylan with Alex on Christmas morning.
Santa was extremely generous to Dylan on his first Christmas. He received lots of new toys which we will soon need to buy a new house for as ours seems to be getting smaller by the day! He was getting a little bored of his old toys and now that he is 9 months old he needs toys more suitable to his age group so we have had fun in the last couple of days playing with them. Unfortunately he also caught a cold on Christmas day from my nephew. My nephew was sick with a cold and I just knew that Dylan would catch it too and sure enough he woke up with it the following day. He catches things so easily and it makes me wonder how many times he will get sick this year if he goes to child care. He is so snotty and noisy when he sleeps that it’s keeping both JP and I up all night. Luckily he is still sleeping OK despite the fact that he cant breathe through his nose.
He is learning new things every day and although I know he should probably be crawling by now or even walking, I’m not too worried about his development because he will get there eventually. He has learnt to crawl with his stomach and feet and spins on his stomach like a break-dancer but still doesn’t realise he has knees that can probably get him around the house quicker. I suppose its a blessing because he is so active and I am already chasing him around the house even though he isnt too mobile yet. He has a walker that he absolutely loves because it gives him the freedom of getting around the house easily but he tries to run over the cat and our toes so I’m not so sure its a good thing.
I’m very excited that he is also saying a few more words even though I know he doesn’t understand what they mean yet. He is saying ‘papa’, ‘bye’, ‘mama’ and has learnt to clap is hands. I cant believe my little baby is growing so fast! That reminds me that his 1st birthday is soon approaching on 26 March and I need to start thinking about what we are going to do to celebrate. I’m not sure whether we should just have something quiet with just family or go for something bigger. I know he wont ever remember it but we will have photos for him to see when he gets older and after all we may never have more children so this may be the only 1st birthday we ever plan. I better start thinking soon because March is just around the corner! Yikes!
