I’ve gone from being a capable office manager to a boring stay-at-home mum in a few short months and I’m feeling a little unappreciated and to be honest I don’t feel I’m that great at the whole mum thing. I was much better as a working woman as I felt like I achieved something at the end of each day. Now I’m lucky when I get to wash my hair. Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mum and love spending time with Dylan but the days fly and it seems like I do nothing yet I never have any time. Ive been on maternity leave since March and all those little projects at home I thought I would get time to do are still sitting waiting for me. How will I ever manage if I go back to work?
I don’t want to go back to work but I need to feel productive and useful which I don’t feel I am right now. I suck at being a mum. I hardly ever go out with just Dylan because I find it too much effort. It takes me 3 hours to just get out the door by the time I pack his things and feed and change him. Its exhausting taking him anywhere as he hates the pram and so I have to carry him most of the time and at almost 10kgs he isn’t the lightest baby to carry. So I stay home alot. I know its not good for either of us but its just way too much effort to go out alone with him. Yesterday I did make the effort to go out for lunch with a friend and it was a nightmare. He was his usual hyperactive self the whole time and I had to hold him while I ate so therefore it took me over an hour to eat my lunch and by the end of it I think I had food in my hair because he kept grabbing at my plate and anything else his hands could reach. To top it off he then vomited all over me and himself. My friend’s baby was an angel which made me look even more like the incompetent mum with the hyperactive baby. I don’t think I will venture out to a restaurant with him again in a hurry.
Dylan’s cardiologist phoned me yesterday to tell me that medicare and my private health insurance have not paid him in full for his bills and that I needed to pay a ‘gap’ of $240. This not only annoys me because I DO pay health insurance so REALLY I shouldn’t be out of pocket but he is probably overcharging…anyway that is separate issue; what annoys me more is that not once in the last few phone calls to me has he asked how Dylan was. He has phoned me at least 5 times recently regarding money matters and not once asked about Dylan. Dylan has his next appointment with him next week but after that we are looking for another cardiologist that cares more about his patients than making a buck.
